BY: DAVID HILLEGASS
EMAIL ADDRESS: firstname.lastname@example.org
BIBLE TEXT: “And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:31 NKJV
The last nine months of my life have been some of the most challenging financial times of my working career. As a self-employed individual I am not guaranteed a paycheck on a regular basis. My income can vary widely throughout the year, and the last nine months have showed me that there can also be seasons of complete drought or even negative income. As this dry season started last September and rolled on for the rest of the 2012, I still had a positive outlook and believed things would turn around in the new year.
After prayer with the Lord around the beginning of the year, I felt He had a four-fold word for my family and I. The word was “increase” and in the four-fold sense it was increase in faith, family, friendships, and finances. To this I said, “Yes and Amen!” So far the Lord has delivered on half of the promises. Megan and I are expecting our fourth child in December, and she and I just started a new life group this week.
As the year has progressed, however, the financial drought has continued. January, February, March, and April have all passed into history and my work drought continues! I am completely at the end of my rope. The promise of increase in finances seems like a fantasy to me or a wish of my own, not to mention that the increase in faith in His promise has waned as well. I have been angry, frustrated, worried, and nervous about this situation, and honestly to some extent I have been feeling these same emotions towards God during this season. Since faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen and gives us assurance about things we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1), it is apparent that the increase in my faith is also struggling.
Peter stepped out of the boat in faith because the Lord said, “Come.” He believed and started walking on the water. Yet as the waves started crashing around him he panicked and started to sink. These numerous months of dry season financially are the waves crashing on me, and just like Peter I panicked and started drowning because I have little faith.
PRAYER: Lord, forgive me for my lack of faith, and help me with my unbelief. You never promised that this increase would be easy or on my terms. Please extend your hand and pull me up out of the storm around me. Let my heart be changed to not panic because of the situations around me, but let me have the heart of the Psalmist who said, “As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands.” (Psalm 119:143) Lord your servant is ready to listen to your commands, and follow your lead that I might find my joy in you and you alone. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dave Hillegass and his family have been attending Life Assembly since March of 2010. Dave is married to his beautiful, pregnant wife Megan, and currently they have three boys: Luke, Thomas, and Isaac. Dave is an agricultural commodities trader by profession. Dave just started going back to school to learn to be a Christian counselor.